please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
