Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
