do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
