Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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