Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
