How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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