Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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