Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
