I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
