dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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