vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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