dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
