____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
