he shaved USA in his pubs
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
is it fun? or sober?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
