I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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