don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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