I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
