so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
