So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
