Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize