So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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