Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
