I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
