I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
