There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
