Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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