you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
