with your own penis?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
sex in a hospital.. check
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
