How'd it feel making her break her religion?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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