she told me i tasted like america
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
