Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
