Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
