Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
