I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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