what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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