..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
