Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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