yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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