omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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