she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
