So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
