I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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