anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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