At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize