we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
