Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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