Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you have to choose: penises or morals?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
