i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
