Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
