my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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