so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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