Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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