I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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