your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize