sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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