Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
