It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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