Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
