im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
