I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's rum buckets o'clock
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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