it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
