It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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